PART 1 - 我選擇修持念「佛陀」 MY CHOICE WAS BUDDHO MEDITATION

MY CHOICE WAS BUDDHO MEDITATION. From the moment I made my resolve, I kept my mind from straying from the repetition of buddho. From the moment I awoke in the morning until I slept at night, I forced myself to think only of buddho. At the same time, I ceased to be preoccupied with thoughts of progress and decline: If my meditation made progress, it would do so with buddho; if it declined, it would go down with buddho. In either case, buddho was my sole preoccupation. All other concerns were irrelevant.

我選擇修持念「佛陀」。從我發願那一刻起，我就不讓心離開重複持念「佛陀」。從早上醒來的那一刻到晚上睡著，我逼自己只是憶念「佛陀」。同時，我也放棄思考進步或退步：如果我的禪修進步，那它與「佛陀」一起進步；如果它退步，那它與「佛陀」一起退步。不管怎麼樣，「佛陀」是我唯一專注的對象，其他的一切都毫不相干。

Maintaining such single-minded concentration is not an easy task. I had to literally force my mind to remain entwined with buddho each and every moment without interruption. Regardless of whether I was seated in meditation, walking meditation or simply doing my daily chores, the word buddho resonated deeply within my mind at all times. By nature and temperament, I was always extremely resolute and uncompromising. This tendency worked to my advantage. In the end, I became so earnestly committed to the task that nothing could shake my resolve; no errant thought could separate the mind from buddho.

這樣保持一心專注不是件容易的工作，每時每刻我都必須確實強迫自己的心不受干擾地安住在「佛陀」上，不管是在坐禪，經行或者只是做日常的雜務，「佛陀」這念誦一直在我內心深處共鳴。我的稟性和氣質是絕對堅定和不妥協的，這種性格給我帶來好處，我是那麼虔誠地全心全意投入修行，決心不受任何動搖。最後，沒有任何妄想可以把心和「佛陀」分開。

Working at this practice day after day, I always made certain that buddho resonated in close harmony with my present-moment awareness. Soon, I began to see the results of calm and concentration arise clearly within the citta, the mind』s essential knowing nature. At that stage, I began to see the very subtle and refined nature of the citta. The longer I internalized buddho, the more subtle the citta became, until eventually the subtlety of buddho and the subtlety of the citta melded into one another and became one and the same essence of knowing. I could not separate buddho from the citta』s subtle nature. Try as I might, I could not make the word buddho appear in my mind. Through diligence and perseverance, buddho had become so closely unified with the citta that buddho itself no longer appeared within my awareness. The mind had become so calm and still, so profoundly subtle, that nothing, not even buddho, resonated there. This meditative state is analogous to the disappearance of the breath, as mentioned above.

我每天這樣修行，確保「佛陀」始終與當下的覺知和諧共鳴。很快地，我開始看到寧靜與定清楚的從心——意識知道的根本特性——中生起。在這個階段，我開始看到心非常微細精妙的本質，我越把「佛陀」內在化，心就變得越細微，直到最後「佛陀」的微細與心的微細相互融合為一體，成為能知的核心。我無法把「佛陀」從心的微細本質中分開，不管怎麼嘗試，我就是無法令「佛陀」這詞在心中浮現。由于精進用功，「佛陀」已那麼緊密地與心合一，以至「佛陀」本身不再出現在覺知中。心變得那麼寧靜和定，那麼微細，以至沒有任何東西，即使是「佛陀」，在此共鳴。這禪修的境界就類似上面提到呼吸消失的境界一樣。

When this took place, I felt bewildered. I had predicated my whole practice on holding steadfastly to buddho. Now that buddho was no longer apparent, where would I focus my attention? Up to this point, buddho had been my mainstay. Now it had disappeared. No matter how hard I tried to recover this focus, it was lost. I was in a quandary. All that remained then was the citta』s profoundly subtle knowing nature, a pure and simple awareness, bright and clear. There was nothing concrete within that awareness to latch on to.

這種情況的發生，令我不知怎麼辦才好。在這之前我以為在整個修行中牢牢地保持著「佛陀」，現在「佛陀」不再出現，我該專注在哪兒？到此為止，「佛陀」一直是我主要的專注對象。現在它消失了，無論我多努力嘗試找回這專注點，它還是不見了，我陷入困惑中。剩下的只是心那微細的能知特性，一個純淨自然的知覺，光明清晰，在這覺知中沒有任何可系緣的實體。

I realized then that nothing invades the mind』s sphere of awareness when consciousness—its knowing presence—reaches such a profound and subtle condition. I was left with only one choice: With the loss of buddho, I had to focus my attention on the essential sense of awareness and knowing that was all-present and prominent at that moment. That consciousness had not disappeared; on the contrary, it was all-pervasive. All of the mindful awareness that had concentrated on the repetition of buddho was then firmly refocused on the very subtle knowing presence of the calm and converged citta. My attention remained firmly fixed on that subtle knowing essence until eventually its prominence began to fade, allowing my normal awareness to become reestablished.

我覺察到意識——知道——在達到那麼高深和微細的境界時，沒有任何東西可以進入心覺知的領域。我剩下唯一的選擇：失去了「佛陀」，我只得把注意力放在當時無所不在而明顯的覺知感上。意識沒有消失，相反的，它滲透一切。之前專注在「佛陀」的覺知，現在牢牢地專注在這寧靜集中的心里面極其微細的覺知上。我的注意力穩固地保留在這微細的能知核心，直到它逐漸變得不再顯著，正常意識恢復過來為止。

As normal awareness returned, buddho manifested itself once more. So I immediately refocused my attention on the repetition of my meditation-word. Before long, my daily practice assumed a new rhythm: I concentrated intently on buddho until consciousness resolved into the clear, brilliant state of the mind』s essential knowing nature, remaining absorbed in that subtle knowing presence until normal awareness returned; and I then refocused with increased vigor on the repetition of buddho.

正常意識一回來，「佛陀」就再次顯現，我立刻轉過來專注重複持念這個念誦詞。不久，我的日常修行進入一個新的節奏：我專注于「佛陀」直到意識進入心能知的特性中，一個清晰、光明的境界，接著全神專注在這微細的覺知，直到正常的意識恢復。然後我又再次更精進地重複持念「佛陀」。

It was during this stage that I first gained a solid spiritual foundation in my meditation practice. From then on, my practice progressed steadily—never again did it fall into decline. With each passing day, my mind became increasingly calm, peaceful, and concentrated. The fluctuations, that had long plagued me, ceased to be an issue. Concerns about the state of my practice were replaced by mindfulness rooted in the present moment. The intensity of this mindful presence was incompatible with thoughts of the past or future. My center of activity was the present moment—each silent repetition of buddho as it arose and passed away. I had no interest in anything else. In the end, I was convinced that the reason for my mind』s previous state of flux was the lack of mindfulness arising from not anchoring my attention with a meditation-word. Instead, I had just focused on a general feeling of inner awareness without a specific object, allowing my mind to stray easily as thoughts intruded.

我的禪修在這個階段第一次得到穩固的修行基礎。從這時起，我的修行平穩地進步——不再退墮。每過一天，我的心就更加寧靜、平和、集中。那一直以來折磨我的波動，已消失無蹤。對修行進展的掛念已被安住在當下的念住所取代。此當下念住的力量與妄想過去未來的妄念根本無法相比。我活動的中心是在當下——每一個重複「佛陀」的默念的生起和滅去，我對其他一切沒有興趣。最後，我堅信過去修行會波動是因為念住缺乏一個念誦詞作為錨，那時我沒有專門的禪修對象，只是專注于內在覺知這麼一個籠統的感覺上，妄想侵入時心輕易就走失。

Once I understood the correct method for this initial stage of meditation, I applied myself to the task with such earnest commitment that I refused to allow mindfulness to lapse for even a single moment. Beginning in the morning, when I awoke, and continuing until night, when I fell asleep, I was consciously aware of my meditation at each and every moment of my waking hours. It was a difficult ordeal, requiring the utmost concentration and perseverance. I couldn』t afford to let down my guard and relax even for a moment. Being so intently concentrated on the internalization of buddho, I hardly noticed what went on around me. My normal daily interactions passed by in a blur, but buddho was always sharply in focus. My commitment to the meditation-word was total. With this firm foundation to bolster my practice, mental calm and concentration became so unshakable that they felt as solid and unyielding as a mountain.

一旦我明白禪修初階的正確方法，我是那麼誠心地投入修行，就連一瞬間的失念也不允許。從早上醒來的那刻，到晚上睡覺，我無時無刻不清醒地覺知修行。這是個嚴酷的考驗，需要無比地專注和精進，我絕不讓念住有一絲的松懈。由于那麼專心深入「佛陀」，我幾乎沒留意身邊周遭的一切。日常生活模模糊糊地過去了，可是「佛陀」則一直清晰地專注著。我對念誦詞的決心是絕對的，以這個堅實的基礎支撐我的修行，心寧靜集中變得不可動搖，恍如山那麼穩定強大。

Eventually this rock-solid condition of the mind became the primary point of focus for mindfulness. As the citta steadily gained greater inner stability, resulting in a higher degree of integration, the meditation-word buddho gradually faded from awareness, leaving the calm and concentrated state of the mind』s essential knowing nature to be perceived prominently on its own. By that stage, the mind had advanced to samadhi—an intense state of focused awareness, assuming a life of its own, independent of any meditation technique. Fully calm and unified, the knowing presence itself became the sole focus of attention, a condition of mind so prominent and powerful that nothing else can arise to dislodge it. This is known as the mind being in a state of continuous samadhi. In other words, the citta is samadhi—both are one and the same.

慢慢地這個像磐石般的心成為念住的主要專注對象。當心逐步獲得內在的穩定，形成高度的合一時，念誦詞「佛陀」就逐漸從覺知中淡出，剩下心知道的根本特性在寧靜與定的狀態下，自己凸顯出來被覺知。在這個階段，心進入三摩地——一個高度專注的覺知，獨自呈現，這狀態與任何禪修技巧無關。心此時的境界是完全的寧靜和合一，能知顯現成為唯一的專注對象，它是那麼的顯著和有力，以至沒有其他的東西可以生起取代它。這是心持續在三摩地的境界中。換句話說，心即是三摩地——兩者等同合而為一。

Speaking in terms of the deeper levels of meditation practice, a fundamental difference exists between a state of meditative calm and the samadhi state. When the mind converges and drops into a calm, concentrated state to remain for a period of time before withdrawing to normal consciousness, this is known as meditative calm. The calm and concentration are temporary conditions that last while the mind remains fixed in that peaceful state. As normal consciousness returns, these extraordinary conditions gradually dissipate. However, as the meditator becomes more adept at this practice—entering into and withdrawing from a calm, unified state over and over again—the mind begins to build a solid inner foundation. When this foundation becomes unshakable in all circumstances, the mind is known to be in a state of continuous samadhi. Then, even when the mind withdraws from meditative calm it still feels solid and compact, as though nothing can disturb its inward focus.

就更高深的禪修境界而言，定的境界與三摩地的境界有一個根本的分別。當心集中落入寧靜、定的境界一段時間，然後退出來回到正常的意識狀態，這是定境。它的寧靜和定只是暫時維持在心進入這個定境的期間內。心恢復平常狀態，這個特殊的境界就漸漸消散。不過，當禪修者越來越熟練于修行——一次又一次地進出這寧靜和定的境界——心就會建立起堅固的內在基礎。這個基礎變得在任何情況之下都不動搖時，心就被稱為進入持續三摩地的境界。這時，即使心從這個定境退出來，它仍然感到穩固緊密，彷彿沒有任何東西可擾亂它的內在焦點。 The citta that is continuously unified in samadhi is always even and unperturbed. It feels completely satiated. Because of the very compact and concentrated sense of inner unity, everyday thoughts and emotions no longer make an impact. In such a state, the mind has no desire to think about anything. Completely peaceful and contented within itself, nothing is felt to be lacking.

持續集中在三摩地的心會保持平等和不動搖，它感到徹底的充實。這是由于內在的結合有種非常緊密集中的感覺，日常的思想和情緒不再帶來沖擊。在這個境界，心不再妄想任何東西。它自己徹底的平靜和滿足，無所匱乏。

In such a state of continuous calm and concentration, the citta becomes very powerful. While the mind was previously hungry to experience thoughts and emotions, it now shuns them as a nuisance. Before it was so agitated that it couldn』t stop thinking and imagining even if it wanted to. Now, with samadhi as its habitual condition, the mind feels no desire to think about anything. It views thought as an unwanted disturbance. When the mind』s essential knowing presence stands out prominently all the time, the citta is so inwardly concentrated that it tolerates no disturbance. Because of this sublime tranquility—and the tendency of samadhi to lull the mind into this state of serene satisfaction—those whose minds have attained continuous samadhi tend to become strongly attached to it. It remains so until one reaches the level of practice where wisdom prevails, and the results become even more satisfying.

在這持續寧靜和定的境界中，心變得非常有力。這之前它渴望的思想和情緒，現在則視之為令人討厭的東西而迴避之，以前它為了停止思考和想象而煩惱，現在當三摩地已成了慣性，它提不起興趣思考任何東西，它視念頭為不受歡迎的干擾。當意識知道的主要特性一直都那麼明顯時，心就極度往內專注，不能忍受任何干擾。由于這甚深的寧靜——以及三摩地令心平靜進入安詳的滿足的趨向——那些證得持續三摩地的人傾向于強烈執著于這境界。禪者會一直停留在這個階段，直到智慧超越它，之後效果就會更理想。