母親 My Mother

母親

My Mother

離開喇榮已有160天了，這是母親今天在電話里提醒我的。可見她日日都在掛念著遠方的不孝之子。

You have been away from Larung for 160 days—this was what my mother reminded me on the phone today. So every day, she is concerned with her undutiful son who is now living in a distant place.

如同世上所有的母親一樣，母親對我的成長和修行付出了很大的代價。在艱苦的歲月里，母親含辛茹苦、忍辱負重，表現出極大的忍耐力和善良的品格。

Like all the mothers in the world, my mom paid dearly for my upbringing and spiritual practice. Throughout the rough years, she endured humiliation and shouldered heavy burdens, fully reflecting her extreme tenacity and kind heart.

我2歲的時候，一次突患疾病。母親背著高燒不退、奄奄一息的我，深一腳、淺一腳地向幾十公里外的縣城走去。路上不知摔了多少跤，吃了多少苦，馬不停蹄地走了整整兩天兩夜。看到昏迷不醒的我終于從死魔的嘴里逃脫出來，母親淌滿汗水的臉上才綻開了笑顏。

Once when I was 2 years old, I became ill suddenly. My fever wouldn』t drop and I was at the verge of dying. Carrying me on her back, my mom trudged one step after the other toward the county town scores of kilometers away. For two full days and nights, she walked nonstop; the number of times she stumbled and the difficulties she encountered on the road could not be counted. I was unconscious in the grip of the Lord of Death until finally, I managed to break free from the ordeal. It was only then that a smile appeared upon on my mother』s sweltering face.

在我兒時的每天晚飯之後，全家人都會圍著火塘，母親就開始念誦她每日的必修課——《極樂願文》，紅紅的爐火映著她年輕如花的臉龐，使我生起一種像面見度母一樣的聖潔感。娓娓的誦經聲彷彿來自于空行剎土，在帳篷間久久迴盪……這種耳濡目染的薰陶建立了我最初對佛法的認識。直到如今，每當看到或聽到《極樂願文》的頌詞，母親念誦經文的聲音就會在耳邊迴響。我至今尚能完整地背誦《極樂願文》，母親實在是功不可沒。

In my childhood, every night after dinner our whole family would sit around the fire pit and my mom would start her daily must-do homework—reciting The Aspiration Prayer to Be Born in the Pure Land of Great Bliss. The fire cast a reddish glow on her blossoming young face; I was struck with a sense of pure awe as if beholding the immaculate Tara in person. Her vivid recitation and chanting were like melodies coming from the Dakini Land, reverberating in our tent on and on…. This subtle influence led to my early understanding of Buddhism. To this day, whenever I hear or read the Aspiration Prayer to Be Born in the Pure Land of Great Bliss, my mother』s chanting voice resounds in my ears. I owe it greatly to her that I can still remember the entire prayer to this day.

記得我七八歲的時候，母親還算年輕，臉色白里透紅，眼睛像黑色的寶石，牙齒潔白如雪。一天，我與母親在山上放牧，山上的樹木郁郁蔥蔥，牧草青翠欲滴，花朵五彩繽紛。我們一起捉起了迷藏，當我從花叢中找到母親時，覺得她像仙女一般美麗。也許這印證了漢地的一句說法：「兒不嫌母丑，狗不嫌家貧。」

I remember when I was around 7 or 8, my mom was still quite young, her white porcelain face had a reddish tint, her eyes were like jet-black jewels, and her teeth were as white as the snow. One day I went herding with her on the mountainside. Up there the trees grew lavishly and the verdant pasture was dotted with colorful flowers. We played hide and seek and, when I spotted her hiding among the flowers, I felt she was just as beautiful as the divine maiden. Perhaps that』s what is meant in the Han Chinese proverb: 「Never does a son see his own mother as ugly; never does a dog see its own master as poor.」

如今，歲月的刀斧已將母親的臉刻得溝壑縱橫，兩腮凹陷、牙齒脫落，腳也一瘸一拐，幾近殘廢，整天只有拿著一根手杖挪動著沉重的身軀。如果我提起她年輕時代的卓卓風姿，誰也不會相信。歲月不饒人啊！

These days, the carving knife of time has chiseled deep lines on my mother』s face, her cheeks are now sunken, and her teeth have fallen out. With legs almost crippled, she can only move her heavy body jerkily with the aid of a cane. Should I recount her agility and stunning beauty in her youth, no one would believe me. Indeed, time pays no mercy to anyone!

父母的恩德是難以估量的，佛陀在《父母恩重難報經》中宣說了父母的種種恩德。阿底峽尊者也說：孝敬父母與修大悲空性無別。記得曾有一位居士將此話告訴父母，令父母對佛法生起信心，因而皈依了佛門。

The kindness of parents is inconceivable. The Buddha recounts in The Sutra about the Deep Kindness of Parents and the Difficulty of Repaying It our parents』 many acts of kindness. Master Atisha also teaches that to be filial and respectful to one』s parents is no different from practicing emptiness, which has compassion as its very essence. This teaching was once related by a lay practitioner to his parents, which aroused in them great faith in the Dharma and consequently they took refuge in Buddhism.

但藏族有一句話：「母心如水，子心如石。」母親的心如水一般柔軟，兒子的心卻如石頭一般堅硬。當很多人意識到父母的艱難，想孝敬時，父母已撒手人寰。

A proverb in Tibet goes: 「As flowing water is the mother』s heart; as a rocky stone is her son』s.」 A mother』s heart is as tender as water, while her son』s is as hard as a rock. When people at last appreciate their parents』 hardships and want to pay them back and look after them, the parents have already left this world.

「樹欲靜而風不止，子欲養而親不待。」

To be calm and still is the tree』s wish, yet the wind keeps on blowing. To offer respect and care is the son』s wish, but his parents have already gone.

所以，趁著父母還健在，應該好好地孝敬老人。

Therefore, we should pay due respect and attention to our parents while they are still living.

「慈母手中線，游子身上衣，臨行密密縫，意恐遲遲歸，誰言寸草心，報得三春暉。」

A thread moves in a mother』s loving hand, Making a garment for her traveling son. With all of her affection she is sewing and sewing, For fear he』ll ever be roving and roving. Who says the little soul of grass waving Could ever repay the warmth of the generous sun?

其實，對母親最大的報答莫過于令其學佛，誠信三寶。令我安慰的是，母親虔信佛法，並已出家，這也算是我略盡的孝道吧。

In fact, there is no greater way to repay a mother』s kindness than to lead her to embrace Buddhism and arouse in her faith in the Three Jewels. It』s a consolation to me that my mother is a devout Buddhist and she has taken monastic ordination. Perhaps these could be counted as my little accomplishments in my filial duties.

母親，不要牽掛您這個不孝之子。您好好念佛，祈禱三寶，我病好了會盡快回來的。

Mom, please do not worry too much about this undutiful son of yours. Just concentrate on your recitation of Buddha』s name and praying to the Three Jewels. I』ll be back home as soon as I recover from my illness.

壬午年二月初四 2002年3月18日

4th of February, Year of RenWu March 18, 2002